Nothing to regret, just a few changes to adjust to.

I’m not gonna hold back. I’m gonna give it all I have, love with all I have. And if I get hurt, I’ll just get hurt. Get hurt, cry, then get myself back in order. Because I can no longer fear the unknown when so much beauty lies in these possibilities.

There’s nothing worse than having had somebody, and still wanting them after it’s done.

It’s like for some reason you know that story is not over…that book has not ended, but you’re just not sure when it will pick back up. Just not sure of when you’ll get to another chapter of “us”.

You’re falling in love with me because you think I fit your ideal of your perfect girl. But what’s gonna happen when my imperfections start to show?

Maybe I’ll elaborate on this later. Maybe I won’t. But this won’t be settled until you take those words back and think about that more. You don’t know me well enough, you can’t possibly be falling in love. It’s not that easy…is it?

“I’m saving all of this beauty for a man that Ive never even met”

…yet.

2012 has been ridiculously unpredictable. Two of the important connections I ended 2011 with, are now gone. Normally, (and at first), I cared, I was hurt, I was upset, I was asking questions. Shortly after, I realized why. Damn near a day or two after I didn’t even care. God is working - bottom line - and I’d be foolish to question his motives. This month alone I’ve increased my strength. Something that may have taken me months to get over in my past, took me two days to get over. Of course I still think about it, but I’m not sad about it — Life Goes On. And ironically, after getting rid of one of the biggest things I fought for all throughout 2011, one of the biggest most relevant connections I’ve had throughout 2011, I found peace of mind - and it feels amazing. No complaints, no regrets.

Since having gone to church on NYE I’ve only missed 1 Sunday service. I’m very satisfied to say that I’ve found my church. As dreadful as I think waking up at 8 is, I wake up ever Sunday to be in attendance at that 9:30 service. I swear the pastor is amazing.

School is school. Work is work. The internship is exciting. I’m beginning to look for work in Atlanta and have a few people helping me. 2012 is about my development, I can already feel it.

I was able to prove to myself how good ofa friend I could be. I was able to prove to myself how REAL of a friend I could be. And now that that’s done, it’s time to let that go. At least that’s what I think God is telling me. 

Let. It. Go. 

And even if God does nothing else for you, He has already done enough.